I Love Them This Much

I love all my kids. I can't say for sure that I love them all equally because I'm not sure how someone judges volumes of love and it changes from day to day depending on attitudes and our moods but I'm pretty sure it averages out. I love them all uniquely though. They each offer me something different and something special. Brayden is my first. I had him all to myself for 18 months and I really got to know him in those 18 months. Sydney was my girl. How relieved I was that I had at least one little girl that I could dress up and paint her nails. Sydney is just that too ... she loves to be a princess but a princess who always looks like a ratty orphan. I get to go through all that girl stuff first with Sydney. Maddy is my baby. I have to treasure every moment of her fleeting toddler years and I think we keep her younger then she is in our minds.
It's easy to not compare Sydney and Brayden because one is a boy and the other a girl so of course they are different and boys and girls learn different things at different times. I've tried to compare Sydney and Madison but it's just so hard to remember what Sydney was like 3 years ago. I say to Ryan all the time that Madison is by far my hardest child but he always reminds me of how I teared up in the ultrasound when they told me how we were having another girl (and not tears of joy). *gulp* Sydney was a challenge too (stubborn and irrational) and Ryan reminds me of how tortured I was by her. How is it that I have seemingly blocked these memories out of my mind and only remember my chubby, dimple cheeked little comedian? The truth is that Madison isn't even that bad! She sleeps great, eats great and she's starting to understand logical consequences so I have been able to negotiate with her now. She's easy going and loves her little family so much. I know you shouldn't compare your children and I don't in terms of which is better. I do it because they are so different it's interesting to see which of my children excels in different areas. They truly are their own individuals.
I feel so spoiled by my kids. How did I get these little people that are just so amazing? and so cute? I thought I would leave you a little photo comparison of my two girls. Sydney on her second birthday (don't let the candle fool you) and Madison 1 week after her second birthday. I've always thought they looked so different but they do both have those big eyes, same eyebrows, similar noses and cute little smiles!